My Sister's Keeper

I just finished reading "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Picoult. I started it last night. I was so totally engrossed by this book I literally could not put it down.

I liked a lot about it. I liked the way her characters were not one dimensional. I liked that it made me think and made me FEEL, even if I didn't always like what I was thinking or what I was feeling. I found it to be a very powerful book.

For me, it was powerful for many reasons, but most of all because I've spent time in a hospital ICU with a dying child. I stood by while one sibling was asked to give a stem cell transplant to his sister. The donor child was Troy, Larry's son who is developmentally disabled. So, while he was technically an adult, due to his disability "informed consent" for the procedure was essentially meaningless. He did what his parents asked him to do. Considering his inability to understanad the implications, was it right to ask this of him? I honestly don't know. I wrestled with it then. I wrestle with it now. Would I feel differently had the procedure been successful? I'm honestly not sure. In the end, it was not the cancer that killed Stacy. It was the stem cell transplant. It was a very gruesome, gruelling, awful thing to go through with her. Watching what she went through broke all of our hearts. Still, it was our only hope. So...yeah, I have lots of murky feelings about this.

Fast forward a few years to when my grandson was having his THIRD open heart surgery when he was about 10. I paid close attention to how the whole family responded to that crisis...and we are not out of the woods with Austin yet. Doctors implanted a cow valve, since the two prior attempts to repair his own defective valve had not been successful. So far it seems to be working...but he will most definitely need another surgery as he gets older because his heart will grow, but the dead cow valve will not. So more hospitalizations are looming. This book reminds me all over again how very, very important it is to NOT lose sight of the OTHER kids needs when we huddle together when A. goes back under the knife.

Also it raises another aspect of medical ethics. How do I feel about Xeno-transplants, putting animal tissues or organs into people? As grateful as I am to have my grandson mostly well, I do wonder. Is it any different to put a piece of cow in my grandson's heart than it is to eat a burger? Those of us who eat meat sustain our lives at the expense of animals every day. Still...it feels different. Would I feel any different if it were a different kind of animal that we do not typically eat? I think of the little girl who got a baboon heart. Would I sign off on that?? If it were MY kid who was critically ill, where would I draw the line at what I would or would not do in order to save my child?

I think the author did a good job of raising issues about medical ethics without getting too heavy handed with answers. I also think she did a good job of portraying the complexities of what it can be like for a family wrestling with the serious illness of one child and losing sight of the needs of the others.

As for the ending - I really did not see it coming. I had heard it had a "terrible ending", but that was a twist I did not expect. I've heard the movie has a completely different ending. I'm glad to hear that, although in truth I can accept the book's version of ending as another reminder that life is complicated, brutal, beautiful and seldom turns out how you thought it would.

All in all I found it a very engrossing book. I plan to read more from this author.

My Heart is Made of Stone (except for when it isn't)

I wasn't sure what the official vote for the May was so I read both, "The Middle Place" and "My Sisters Keeper".

Let's start with "The Middle Place". I watch the video that Amber sent and I was very excited to read this book. What I got from the video and what the book was actually about were a bit different than I expected. I thought that this book was going to be about a group of friends and their friendships over time (that's not what it was about).

As I began the book and read the part about how The Middle Place is "that sliver of time when parenthood and childhood overlap" I could identify. Although my "Middle Place" feels like a boulder of time when adulthood and childhood overlap. Continually seeking the approval of parents yet still trying to figure out how to live my life regardless of what my parents think (for the record they would always love me even if I was a street rat).

I thought this book would make me cry, it didn't. I thought this book would touch my soul given that one of my dearest friends has breast cancer, it didn't. I thought I would have some kind of emotional connection, but I didn't. Well, that is not entirely true, I did love her dad.

I enjoyed reading the book and I would call it a quick good read. Unfortunately, I expected it to be about one thing and it was about another. Another one of those 'don't set your expectations to high and you won't be disappointed' type thing.

ONWARD . . .

"My Sister's Keeper" was a good read that I thought would make me cry, it didn't. I am very much looking forward to watching the movie to see how the screen writers adapted it for the movies.

Usually, I don't like books that are written by multiple characters perspective because the story generally becomes repetitious. However, the Author did a WONDERFUL job. When one character's perspective ended the next character seamlessly continued the story.

The ending was HORRIBLE. I felt like the Author didn't know how to end it so she took the easy way out. After dragging (not sure if that is the right word because I really liked the book and the word "dragging" implies that I didn't like it) the book out it ended too quickly.

. . . .and that is how I am ending this blog.

FYI don't forget to vote for June's book!

June Read

It's my turn to choose a book for June, and I have no idea how to go about it, so here's the deal. I went to the library this morning, chose three books at random (from a list of books recommended on a blog I frequent), brought them home, and plan to read all of them this month. You choose which you'd like to read with me! Here's your fair warning: I don't know anything about any of them. Could be interesting. Here they are:

1. The Thirteenth Tale - Diane Setterfield (I started reading this one first because it has the earliest due-back date. I'm on page 13 right now, and so far so good.)

2. The Memory Keeper's Daughter - Kim Edwards

3. These Is My Words - Nancy E. Turner

If anyone has a better idea let me know - I'm no good at this sort of thing.

Good luck!

-Andrea

Their Eyes Were Watching God

I am currently reading Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston. This is what it says on the back cover:

One of the most important works of twentieth-century American Literature, Nora Neal Hurston's beloved 1937 classic, Their Eyes Were Watch God, is an enduring Southern love story sparkling with wit, beauty and heartfelt wisdom. Told in the captivating voice of a woman who refuses to live in sorrow, bitterness, fear, or foolish romantic dreams, it is the story of a fair skinned, fiercely independent Janie Crawford, and her evolving selfhood through three marriages and a life marked by poverty, trials, and purpose. A true literary wonder, Hurston's masterwork remains as relevant and affecting today as when it was first published--perhaps the most widely read and highly regarded novel in the entire canon of African American literature.

About the author: Zora Neal Hurston (1891-1960) was a novelist, folklorist, and anthropologist whose fictional and factual accounts of black heritage remain unparalleled. Her many books include Dust Tracks on a Road; Jonah's Gourd Vine; Mules and Men; Seraph on the Suwanee; Moses, Man of the Mountain; and Every Tongue Got to Confess.

I'm just getting started with the book, but so far I'm enjoying it. It took me a little while to adjust to the phonetic spellings of the southern dialect. For example, when the main character is telling her friend about the day she ran away from slavery she describes it like this:

"She flounced on off and let her wintertime wid me. Ah knowed mah body wasn't healed, but Ah couldn't consider dat. In de black dark Ah wrapped mah baby de best Ah knowed how and made it to de swamp by de river. Ah knowed de place was full uh moccasins and other bitin'snakes, but Ah was more skeered uh whut was behind me. Ah hide in dere day and night and suckled de baby every time she start to cry, for fear somebody might hear her and Ah'd git found. Ah ain't sayin' uh friend or two didn't feel mah care. And den de Good Lawd seen to it dat Ah wasn't taken..."

I'm enjoying getting caught up in the world of these charaters, this time period.
I just wish I had more time to just get lost in my reading instead of having to scramble for stolen pockets of time between so many other things...




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What I read/what I am reading

My favorite author of all times is Malcome Gladwell. He wrote my favorite book of all time "The Tipping Point, How little things Can Make a Big Difference". He also wrote another good read "Blink, The Power of Thinking Without Thinking". When "Outliers, The Story of Success" came out, it was a no brainer to me. I purchased the book hardback and all.

I am only on pg 98 of this book but once again Malcom Gladwell simply amazes me with his original thoughts, his research, and his writing ability. Malcom Gladwell makes his points by telling a series of stories. In my opinion, his writing is smart, entertaining, and makes you think about things in a way that you never thought before.

So far the item that stuck out the most to me is the age that parents put their children into Kindergarten. This is particularly interesting to me because I entered kindergarten at the age of four; the youngest person in my class. People who graduated a year after I did were older than me. His thoughts on this literally covers two pages so it isn't what the entire book is about, the main point of the book is what factors influence success.

I recommend to everyone to read all three of his books. They are quick reads that will surprise you.

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I just completed "Out of Captivity, Surviving 1,967 Days in the Colombian Jungle".

In Feb. 2003 a plane crashed in the Colombian Jungle filled three civilian contractors from America. The minute they landed they were taken captive by the FARC (columbian terrorist organization). They remained in captivity for five years.

I first heard of their story in 2008 when they were all over the news after being rescued. However, their story was overshadowed by the news story of Ingrid Betancourt, a French-Colombian politician, who was also held prisoner and rescued in the same rescue mission. Needless to say when I saw that the three men had written a book I eagerly purchased and dove into the story.

Even though I essentially knew the story, this book was another good read that I highly recommend.

What I'm Reading Now

Hopefully I'll get back in sync with the group before long. But for now I'm off on my own tangent. Thought I'd let you know what I've picked up to read lately and see if anyone else might want to come along for the ride.

I'm reading The Great Influenza by John Barry. I'm just getting started, but so far it has been a facinating read. Meticulously researched without too much technical jargon, this book gives the history of how medicine evolved as a science and describes the social, political, and biologial confluence of events that came together in the terrible flu epidemic of 1918 that killed more people than World War I and more than we have lost to AIDS. In just one city (Philadelphia - the hardest hit) in Philadelphia, 4,597 people died in one week alone and bodies piled up on the streets to be carted off to mass graves.

Barry describes the panic and despair of the people, the driven determination of the doctors trying to find a cause and a cure, and the misguided governmental policies and priorities that exacerbated the disaster.

I've had this book sitting on my shelf for a long time...picked it up with a stack of others at a library book sale in Sequim a few years ago but for one reason or another just never got around to reading it. Finally I made time to pick it up.
It has been absolutely riveting.

Now I am mindful of a phrase I found years ago when I was doing the lit review for my masters thesis. Some Harvard doctor in the 1800's was explaining why education was unwise for females...after a long description on the size of women's brains as compared to mens and cautions about how over education could create complications in childbearing (I'm not making this up!) he further went on to warn that if women were given the same educational opportunities as men they would neglect their household duties...

Well, on THAT note the guy was right. I have absolutely no interest in doing the laundry, in dusting or scrubbing the sink. All I want to do right now is curl up with a good book.

A Different Perspective

I almost remained silent, as I have not finished the book. But the last post fired me up. No, I have not finished the book (I'm close), but I will. I am deeply affected by it and have had trouble tearing myself away from it, but family obligations have made it impossible to sit down for an extended period of time.

I too hate violence. I would much prefer a diplomatic approach to any sort of conflict. But that is not reality. My perspective is a bit different because my husband is a police officer. They too are trained in violence. But, I am very grateful they are. We live in a violent world, and the stories I hear often rock me to the core. Although I believe the world is full of goodness and amazing people, there is much evil. Horrible people walk the streets daily; our soldiers/military personnel/officers exist because of that.

My husband is trained to kill. And I am glad. It helps me sleep at night knowing that there is one more competent "good guy" on the street to help balance things out. He comes home bloody and bruised after combat training. I hate seeing him that way, but I am humbled. He is willing to risk his life to ensure we remain safe. He is willing to give up a 9-5 desk job with a hefty salary, kiss his family goodnight and head out to keep our community safe from harm. Each night he risks his safety without the cover of some magic hero cape; he has no super powers. He must rely on his training. He must rely on that grueling, innocence breaking training.

It isn't pretty. It isn't pleasant. It certainly isn't enjoyable to read about. But it is necessary. My husband is a good cop. He is thorough. He is hard working. He is honest. He does everything in his power to avoid violence. He does not want to pull his weapon. He does not want to be a killing machine. But our world does not allow for anything different. Sadly, there is no Utopia. And just as I must watch him drive into the darkness each night, many fathers, mothers, wives, must send their sons and husbands off to fight a war we would rather not be fighting.

I understand this book was a hard read. I get that. I also respect the decision to put it down. But please know that there is much more than arrogance and testosterone behind the uniform. There is beauty in bravery. There is beauty in courage. And there is beauty in understanding.